10.17 - When Fiction Becomes Reality

About 10 years ago, the idea of eating sushi made me sick. I couldn't stomach cooked fish very well let alone raw fish. It was at the persistence of sushi-loving friends that I slowly began to open up to the raw delicacies. Nowadays, sushi is near and dear to me, and I have several favorite varieties-- one of which is salmon. Just the raw salmon by itself-- with a little bit of wasabi and soy sauce-- is absolutely delicious. Usually, I won't overdo it with the salmon, but I'll generally get two (or one in the case below) as my end-of-meal treat.



Little did I know that salmon is a favorite hiding spot for a tapeworm larva!! Once you eat a piece of salmon with larva in it, that sucker hooks onto your small intestine and then it's all over-- it silently grows, taking all your nutrients and sucking all your energy. And those things can grow up to 30 feet long, living for years inside of you without you realizing a thing! The way to avoid this is for the fish to have been frozen then thawed before preparation because freezing the fish for 15 hours kills existing larvae. You know, I would seriously hope that all sushi restaurants and their chefs would know this, but now I'm all paranoid. I mean, I just had the above piece of salmon at lunch today!

For years, my parents and friends have joked around that I have a tapeworm since I eat so much and still generally stay the same weight. Who knows. Maybe I had some raw salmon years ago and a tapeworm has been living inside of me since then. That would definitely explain why I lack energy and always feel so sleepy. And for all I know, maybe I've acquired several more tapeworms after actively pursuing my love for raw salmon. Great. I'm like a mama tapeworm-- feeding my long, stringy fetuses. Blech.

All I know is . . . if I start pooping tapeworm, I'm never eating again.