1. Stay away from Pilates class. It is evil and will not only make you hate your life, but you will suffer from excruciating foot cramps.
2. You shouldn't have ordered the bridesmaid dress too small. It's nearly impossible to reduce the size of your hip bones.
3. It's a good thing you're addicted to frozen yogurt with health benefits. If not for that, your addiction might be considered an eating disorder.
4. Stop staring at your "Fast Food" calendar. Just because you love it and think it's cute, doesn't mean your coworkers do. They actually think you're a little strange.